The Bloody Pharaoh
by Mythical Penguin
Summary: Irwin is dead, he committed suicide. and like a pheonix from the ashes, a new character is born. the Bloddy Pharaoh. with the arrivile of this man comes a new romance. A romance no one thought possible. rated M for Violence.
1. The End?

Bloody Pharaoh

**Bloody Pharaoh**

**Chapter one: the end?**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!! Nothing I tell ya!! Nothing!!**

**I bet you're wondering why the first chapter is called, the end. It's not a one shot, if you were wondering. Oh know, so sit back and relax all the MandyxIrwin goodness. Hey, don't spit you drink at me. I know the whole idea of Irwin with Mandy is enough to make one wretch, but trust me you'll love Irwin. Really. But he's quite OOc, it's for a reason. Anyway, me and my purry kitty wish you a long and happy reading time. R&R please!!**

Chapter one: The End?

"Irwin, Irwin, Irwin, come over to my house so we can play" cried Billy with all of his usual obnoxious excitement.

Irwin sighed why couldn't anyone ever leave him alone. They either picked on him or they ignored him out right. No one cared. No one loved him. Why did billy even bother "I don't know billy, I'm not really in the mood too.."

"awwwwwwwwwwwwww, c'mon Irwin you never want to do anything any more." Berated billy in his annoying high pitched squeal. He didn't seem to care about Irwins pain, merely his own amusement.

"fine, I'll be over in a couple." Irwin groaned dejectedly, he was then forced to hold the phone away from his ear to shield himself from billy's triumphant squeels.

Irwin slid off the bed and shuffed over to his dresser. There lay his wrist guards, his dark grey shirt, and black pants. His hair had grown long as he was too depressed to cut it. He inspected and readjusted his arm bands, making sure none of the scars could be seen. He loathed himself, infact so did everyone around him. Especially the woman he loved, Mandy. She was dark, mysterious, beautiful, and dangerous. He sighed thinking of her only made him think of how much she hated him. That's why he cut himself. The only time he was happy was when he cut himself, he felt free from all the pain. For the longest time he had been happy go lucky. Not a care in the world, perfectly happy to be kicked around by those he cared for most. But after a while it dawned on him that his life was hell.

As he trudged out the open front door, the didn't even say "later" to his parents. He new they wouldn't notice he was gone. Slowly he made his way toward billy's house. Knowing seeing mandy would only bring him pain. Not to mention seeing grim. It wasn't that he was afraid of death, but that his wrists healed too quickly. Seeing death incarnate would be like a cruel slap in the face, not unlike the ones he constantly received from Mandy herself. He tried time and again to no avail. He just needed a better method. Until he though of one he would just have to suffer through life. Half heartedly he knocked on the door. Mandy opened it.

She glared "your late dweeb" she said in her usual monotone that somehow made her irresistible to him.

Irwin mumbled some half hearted apology, and crossed the door way into the living room where Billy and grim now sat. The bang of the door closing announced Irwins miserable presence to the world. A wide, stupid smile crossed Billy's face upon seeing his friend had arrived.

"Irwin!!" he shouted, running up to hug him.

"Ugh, hi billy sup?" chocked Irwin as he struggled in Billy's leviathan grasp.

"I saw a new game show, "Truth, or Boil in a pot of Lava." So I got it the board game from the store (in truth he had wined at his mom for a week before she caved in and bought it for him) and were going to play!!" he said excitedly, gesturing wildly toward the middle of the floor where the game board lay.

"What's with you Irwin, you don't smile, you always look like someone just killed you're dog, you don't flirt with me, you wear dark clothing, and those things?" she said, waving her hand dismissively in the direction of his arm bands. "Not that I mind the change, it's just creeping me out. And that's no mean feat either."

"Yah," said grim who was slumped onto the couch "it's not like dey go wit your outfit, why do you always wear dem?"

"I don't know, I just do that's all." He said defensively, hoping they'd back off.

"If they're no big deal then take them off" she said coldly, an eyebrow raised with her mild interest.

"N…no, I don't want t..to yo" Irwin stuttered, slowly backing toward the door.

"Why?" Mandy inquired, her curiosity had just grown from mild interest to slightly intrigued.

"Just cause, I don't want to" he muttered, eyes staring determinedly at his black shoes. This day was hard enough as it was. Why couldn't they just leave him alone?

"Ooh let me seee!!" came a screech from behind as billy lept upon his shoulders.

"No, billy, get off" shouted Irwin, swinging from left to right in an attempt to throw billy from him.

Billy climbed upwards onto Irwins head, away from his swinging arms, then tumbled forward and managed to slip them off on his way down.

"Irwin, are deese what I tink day are?" asked grim holding his wrist firmly, as he examined the obvious razor scars.

"No" he said with very little hope in his voice "they…they're bug bites, that's all.

Both grim and mandy raised one eyebrow. He did his best not to look into their eyes.

"so billy are we gonna play or not, Yo?" Irwin asked hopping to change the subject.

"yah, yah, yah, yah." Said billy, already setting up the game. He had obviously already forgotten the scars in the face of his own amusement.

"Sit!" he exclaimed forcing everyone into an awkward position on the floor around the game board. After making sure everyone had taken a playing piece, Billy took a card out of the box

"Who…do…yew…. Awl…luv…most" Billy squinted at the tiny writing on the card. His obvious reading deficiency was not about to stop him from enjoying himself.

"no one" replied grim somberly

"myself" replied mandy unabashed

Then it was Irwin's turn. He looked to the floor around his knees, searching for some way out of this situation. "Why bother asking? You all know"

"Good point. I'd rather he'd not say it aloud" said Mandy

"I love you all" said billy with an obnoxious grin, as he flung himself across the room onto Grim's neck.

"Get off of me boy!!" shouted grim, as he pulled billy from his face. "isn't it enough dat I'm play'n dis blasted game wit you, without you assaulting you."

Billy giggled and ran back to his spot. He plopped down, and slowly picked up the next card. "Next card, who…dew…yew…hate…most"

"Either you or mandy" retorted grim with a disgruntled glare to his "best friends for life."

"Shut it grim" Mandy ordered. "But as for me it's hard to say. I hate everyone." After a moment of reflection she continued "I guess either Mindy or Irwin"

Irwin flinched, her words cut deeper then he let on. He continued to look at the shag carpeting. Slowly his gaze drifted to the pot of boiling lava, he cringed. Just cause he wanted to die didn't mean he didn't want to die like that!! "Myself" he mumbled helplessly.

Both Mandy and grim turned toward Irwin, in confusion. Billy either didn't hear or didn't care because he didn't pay attention

"clowns, or spiders, or mailmen. I hate them all so much!!" he fumed and ripped apart the playing board in some Bizzar fit of anger of wich he was prone too. He bit into the board with his teeth, shaking violently back and forth. Game pieces went flying every which way. The lava pot tipped over, spilling forth onto the carpet and burning a hole in the rug.

Well there goes the board game thought Irwin. It's the fourth one this week.

"Lets watch T.V now." Billy said bouncily, his momentary rage subsiding. His eyes became glued to the set, and a string of drool automatically came out of his mouth.

On TV there was a special about Egypt. It showed a long cliff right before the Nile whose waters glittered like perfect diamonds amongst the sandy shores of the desert along witch it lay. Suddenly Irwin sat straight up, this serene view had caught his attention. That was it, the perfect spot. It was after all the land of his mother. He would drown, so he couldn't heal easily, and someone might actually take notice once they found his floating corpse. The only problem was getting there.

"this is boring" said Mandy as she lazed on the couch unhappily.

Another moment passed before yet another idea hit him. Plus this way he'd be able to see his dark angels face one last time, he thought as he gazed up longingly at his gothic goddess. I'll be right back he said and raced off to the kitchen. Once there he hid a knife about his person and went back into the living room with a smile. It was fool proof

"I've got an idea" he said smiling fakely. "Let's go Egypt"

"why" retorted Mandy automatically

"Because, uh, because it will be exciting. I mean the tombs, the pyramids, the…" he stopped seeing the unconvinced look on her face.

He sighed "because if we go to the spot we saw on TV, I, Irwin,( and it is important that he said Irwin so shut up dammit) will never flirt with you again" he looked up hopefully, this time it was obvious his plan had worked.

"grim we're going to Egypt" said Mandy forcefully, springing off the couch with such speed it almost looked as though she were excited, almost.

Grim slumped off the couch, and dejectedly got to his feet. " fine, c'mon kids lets make dis quick. Me soaps are on in half an hour" the reaper snapped as he tore a small wormhole in the fabric of reality

"I'll be as quick as I can." Whispered Irwin so quietly only he could hear

Irwin ran excitedly to the cliffs edge. His eyes moved toward at the sky and his hand shot up to shield them from the blaring Egyptian sun. He took a long deep breath and sniffed in the sandy, salty, spice filled air. For the first time in a long time, was happy. The sun shone on his back and the wind whipped his long uncut hair from his face. He looked at his surroundings for the last time and turned back toward his so called "friends"

"Thank you, for this" He smilled "I wanted it to be perfect, and it will be"

"What will be, what are you talking about?" asked Mandy utterly confused, she didn't like this.What was he planning, she wondered. The new look, new attitude. Was this some stupid new way of coming on to her? Was he trying to make her feel sorry for him? If he was he was fighting an already lost battle.

"I want to ask for one more favor though. Hold Billy back for me."

Grim sighed, shook his head annoyedly, and grabbed billy's arm as Irwin had requested. He could guess what was coming. He'd seen enough suicide in his job (heh, no kidding) to figure it out. But Mandy hadn't. She was very, very confused and just as put out.

"Irwin what are you doing?" She snapped "Get over here, we're leaving. With or without you, it's you're choice."

Irwin just smiled more broadly at her, his eyes half closed serenely. This infuriated her more if anything. "I just want you guys to know that you'll always be in my heart." Irwin said smilling at them "Billy you were the best friend I could have asked for, thank you. And Mandy, you may hate me, but I will always love you. I just can't keep going when no one cares. I can't stand every day knowing the woman I love wants me dead. I'm sorry goodbye."

Recognition dawned on Mandy's face as Irwin drew the blade out.

"I'd stab myself in the heart, but I don't have any left. It's been broken." And with that he plunged the knife deep into his stomach.

He coughed blood up onto his shirt and staggered backward, clutching the knife. "I'm sorry…I...I…lo" he managed to gasp before his eyes rolled into his head, fell backwards and was gone. His body plunged downward into the shimmering river Nile. All that could be heard over the crashing waves was Billy's screams.

**Ah yes, I do have a flare for the overly dramatic don't I? however I have edited this so hopefully it'll be much better than the horribly written original. R&R please.**


	2. Blood Rising

Chapter 2: Blood Rises

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!!! So stop asking me!!!! GRRRRRR!!!!!! Fear me, I'm a chinchilla. (lol don't ask)**

**Okay, to all my readers out there, I love you. I know the beginning was overly dramatic. But in this one there is some real humor. Some mauking of Irwin. And a lot of violence. This chapter will be longer, and much better then the first. Trust me.**

Mandy couldn't Belive what she had just seen. Why, why had Irwin done it, she wondered as she leaned over the edge. He didn't really love her, it had just been a crush. Hadn't it? Mandy just sighed, shook her head sadly, and slowly spun around. Grim was busy holding Billy back from the edge.

"There was no need to be so dramatic. A show off to the end" she scoffed dismissively.

"Irwin, Irwin, Irwin. Come back, come back" Billy screamed hopelessly. He turned around toward grim and clung to the reaper's cloak. "B  
ring him back grim, please."

Grim looked down at billy's sobbing figure. "I Can't billy, Irwin wanted it this way. It's not my place to…" he said somberly

Tears streamed down his face "noooo, you have to, bring him back, you have to!!" he sobbed.

Grim just looked away.

Mandy walked up to them, and frowned coldly. " Billy he's gone and he's not coming back. Get over it, I have" she lied. She couldn't help but feel an emptiness in her stomach, and she didn't know why. She hated him didn't she? She decided it was sickness, from seeing all that blood. For some reason she couldn't get Irwins hunched, bleeding form out of her mind. Or his last words, I love you mandy. She didn't have much time to think it over, as grim walked up and slapped her across the face. She looked up startled into his glaring eyes.

"Grim.." she said holding her cheek ( no this isn't a Grim x Mandy F.F.) "Did you just slap me?"

He looked down at the forboding girl, stupidly unafraid. "Yes I did Mandy, and I'll do it again if you don't shut up. You heartless brat, a boy just committed sucide because of you" he shouted at her, his eyes flaming. " what's more he was a dear friend of billy's. I know you don't have a heart, but Da least you can do is comfort y'r best friend. C'mon kids time to go home, I have a soul to collect" he turned around to open a portal and three rocks hit him on the back of the head.

"That was for slapping me grim!!!" she shouted from behind him. Her fase was flushed red with rage "And when we get back there will be hell to pay!!! No one hits Mandy!!!"

A few hours later, Irwin sat up on the shore. "Am I dead?" he wondered. Slowly he got to his feet. A little ways away the knife lay, devoid of all blood. He looked down, apart from a scar on his stomach he appeared to be fine

" Is this my ghost form?" he asked aloud.

"No" came a voice with a thick Jamaican accent behind him. "but I'm not sure why. and I'm damn unhappy bout it to."

"Grim" exclaimed Irwin in shock "What do you mean no? I stabbed my self, yo!!" He began to get angry, why had his death been robbed from him. He welcomed death with open arms, and it rejected him like everything else.

Grim sighed "before you ask, it wasn't me. If I brought my clients back, I'd be outa work. I just found you here, passed out but alive. I checked your life line, you're not Gonna die for a long time. You just wasted a bunch of me day kid."

Irwin sank to his knees. Why him, why this. He would even suffer hell if it ment not living. Come to think of it, he seemed to have a nack for living with nasty wounds. He had been eaten and mauled more times then he could count. Yet here he was, perfectly healthy.

"the curse." He whispered. "my mothers mummy curse. I can't die, or at least I can't die violently." He looked down and began to cry. It wasn't fair, life was hard enough as it was. Why did everything bad happen to him.

" dat's probably it alright." Nodded grim. "sorry Irwin, but it's time ta go home." Grim reached out his hand for Irwin to take.

Irwin was silent for a moment. "no, I can't go back. I can't face that life again"

"what do ya expect to do den? Where do ya expect to go? What am I going to tell everyone? And just why should I do dis for ya?" Grim shouted annoyedly. This was taking far longer then he expected. He had probably already missed "all of my tumors".

"Take me to the streets. I'll become one with the shadows. I'll survive, I always have. And if I don't, so what, yo?" Irwin said matter of factly. " and as for what to tell the others. Tell them the truth. Tell them I passed on to the world of darkness and shadows. That I went willingly and gladly. Tell them that Irwin is dead. He died, when he fell off that cliff. As for why, you wan't to get back at mandy don't you, yo? The best way to do that is to keep a secret from her. Mandy HATES IT, when people keep secrets from her, yo"

"Deres no need to be so dramatic boy!! I'll do as ya ask" Grim snorted, "But what are ya gonna call yourself if ya don't call yourself Irwin then?"

He shrugged "I'll think of something"

--

"Here, you are" said grim with disgust, " home sweet home"

The alleyway in which they were standing was covered in dirt and garbage. A strange smell issued from behind a dumpster.

"Thanks grim, for everything" said Irwin turning toward the reaper with a smile.

"it's da least I can do. But don't be asken for anymore favors, cause I aint gonna do dem" acknowledged grim disgruntledly. And with that he disappeared into the swirling green and black portal.

Irwin sat down against a dumpster and closed his eyes. Instantly he feel into a deep, dreamless sleep. He awoke to find a knife at throat some hours later.

"well what da we have here?" chuckled a thug. " new trash on our territory. We got a word for what you'r doin. It's trespassing. An we don't take kindly to trespassers do we boys?"

His gang chuckled with him. Most of them where wearing dew rags, and had missing teeth. All of them had jagged, blood stained knifes out. Irwin gulped to afraid to speak.

"whats a matter punk. To chicken to speak. That's alright, pleading wont matter none." Said the leader in a menacing tone. " hey boys lets show him what we do to trespassing chikens."

The thugs circled in slowly. Two grabbed his arms before he could run anywhere. They pushed him harshly against a wall.

"say your prayers turkey." One scoffed cruley.

Then the gang attacked. They beat him with practiced ferocity. Irwin had never felt such pain. He had multiple black eyes, and a broken arm by the time they were done. Then they started to cut him. Long ,deep, excruciating cuts. He screamed with each one. This was hell. Finally one moved in for the kill.

"die punk" he shouted and lunged for Irwin's throat.

"no" shouted Irwin as he swipped an arm free to cover his face, and closed his eyes.

Suddenly he heard a gurgling sound. He opened his eyes cautiously to find his attacker bleeding to death. A long red, brown, and white saber was sticking into the thug's throat. Irwin looked down to find it was coming from his arm. He realized it was comprised of his own flesh, blood, and bone. Cautiously he felt his face. The bruises were gone, and his cuts were healed. When he looked around he saw the rest of the gang backing away.

A new feeling of overwhelming power and rage swept through him. This was his chance, his chance for revenge. With a war cry so shrill that the gang had to cover their ears, He lunged at his assailants. One by one he attacked them, shredding them to pieces and watching them bleed. He was swift and merciless. This was for everything that had happened to him, this was vengence. All the pain, the cruelty, the suffering. He let all of it out upon the hapless men. He began to laugh, mad with rage, power, and blood lust. There was now only one left, the leader. He turned slowly to face the shuddering thug. In Irwins twisted mind the man began to change, he was now a she. She was mandy, and mandy was laughing. Laughing at him and his pathetic attempts to woo her. At the way he looked, he talked, his very being. Irwin had had enough. He lunged screaming at "mandy's" chest. His fingernails grew long and sharp. They dug straight into "her" heart, and Iwrin Laughed as he ripped it out.

"finnaly" he shouted in triumph. "finally your heart is mine."

With that he devoured the heart whole. Blood dripped from his mouth and hands. His once broken arm was healed, and his rage subsided. He looked around slowly. All around him men lay dead or dieing, and blood was splattered everywhere. He looked back at his heartless victim and realized it was not mandy.

"oh well" he sighed "at least I had fun. you know," he thought aloud, licking his teeth. "that didn't taste half bad. I think I could get used to these powers" he grinned

"IRWIN? WHAT DA HELL HAPPENED" grim shouted from behind him.

Irwin smirked and turned around to reveal his bloody face and hands. Grim shuddered in horror.

"I did grim. I woke up." He snickered baring his bloodied teeth. "oh and I thought of a name. How does Bloody Pharaoh, sound to you?"

"what happened to you?" whispered grim still in shock.

"Be seeing you soon, yo" said Pharaoh with a wink, and walked off into the night. Laughing insanely at the look on Grim's face.

Grim sighed. " why does dat boy always have ta be so dramatic?"

**Ha Ha, You have to love grim and Mandy. But poor Irwin, he's still being made fun of. Grim is just lucky Irwin didn't hear him. Is Irwin cool now or what. When I told by boyfriend what happens him, he went "noooo, Irwin has to be a dork. He can't be cool." Well ha ha Alex, It's my story. I made him cool, and insane. The next chapter has to be my favorite I think. Anyway, see you soon. And long live the Bloody Pharaoh!!**


	3. Return to endsville

Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Laura: Hey everyone, we have a special guest with us today to introduce the chapter. (crowd cheers) Every one I'd like you to meet, The adult version of the Bloody Pharaoh (crowd hides behind chairs)**

**BP: hello (gives evil grin, and scans audience for possible victims. Settles on****Bluemoon4Sphinx****s****.) ooooh, you look tasety! What's your blood type, yo?**

**Laura: HEY, NO EATING HER. She's my first FAN!!**

**BP: (sulks) fine!! So what do you want with me any way, yo?**

**Laura: we're going to do an interview!! WOOOOT!! ( holds up sign that says applause. But no one claps) yah um….ehm, anyway so what is your favorite part of being BP.**

**BP: watching people suffer for all the years of pain I endured yo!!**

**Laura: ….okay, that's disturbing. Next question, what's your favorite part of the story so far?**

**BP: I'd have to say either when I killed for the first time, or the reunion with M and B(see this chapter)**

**Laura: ….I'm starting to regret having you as my guest. So now you get to do the disclaimer.**

**BP: why should I do that yo?**

**Laura: because, I'll tell you what mandy keeps in her sock drawer!!**

**BP: …. Momentary pause where he considers eating her Fine. **_**Disclaimer: Laura owns nothing, because she sucks yo!!**_

**Laura: hey!!**

**BP: I calls em like I sees em, so what does she keep in her sock drawer?**

**Laura: **_**SOCKS!!**_** Lol. (shink that's the sound of a blood sword being drawn) AAAAHHHH, don't hurt me!!**

Return to Endsville.

Billy, mandy, and Irw…(Oh uh hi Bp, your still here?! What? Oh this!! It's nothing, I'm just starting the chapter. What? Of course I'm not calling you Irwin.nervous laugh it was just a typo…..DON'T KILL ME!!) I mean Pharaoh are now 16. Pharaoh left Endsville long ago, but let's just say he and Grim kept in touch. It's hard not to when he claims another victim every night.

Pharaoh sat on a rooftop looking at the stars. He sighed "booring. so very, very boring yo. Same old routine every night. It's so monotonous." He thought aloud. He had grown tall and muscular. His long uncut hair covered one eye, and his teeth had grown sharp and pointed. Pharaoh wore a black hooded cloak, and a traditional Pharaoh's garb, save for the fact it was red and black.

He sat up as inspiration struck him like a blow to the head.

"I think I'll pay a visit to my home town. I'm feeling Nostalgic." He said with a crooked smile " and I just Urge to see my dear old friends. Won't they be surprised to see me." He laughed his cruel, deep laugh, and it carried for many miles on the nigh wind.

The next day, miles away in the city of Endsville. Mandy waited by Billy's door. She had grown tall and curvy. She allowed her hair had grow long and straight. It fell over one eye, like something from an old spy movie. Mandy had long since stopped wearing all pink. Instead she usually wore a mixture of gothic pink and black cloathing. On her arms she had black fishnets, and on her legs she had black ones. She was quite Beautiful, with a slightly round face and slanting eyes, but as dark and unfeeling as ever.

"Billy, c'mon were going to be late." She said angrily.

Billy ran out giggling. He was short and looked more like his father everyday. His body was lean and lanky, which made his arms flail strangely when he walked. His hair stuck messily out of his hat, it framed his skinny face. Apart from his humongous nose, he wasn't that bad looking.

"c'mon grim" he shouted giddily, leaning into his house.

Grim slowly trudged out the door. "Da I have to walk ya ta school.? Aren't ya old enough to walk on y'r own?" he grumbled

"Shut it grim, and move quickly. I'm not about to be late for the test today," ordered Mandy in her monotone voice.

"yeah, yeah, coming your majesty" mumbled grim

The trio moved off, not knowing that today would change their lives forever. (cue dramatic music, and some lightning. yells at lightning "stop following me!!")

That evening Billy and Mandy sat on his, couch watching the news. Mandy had long outgrown waching cartoons, unlike billy. She was more interested with how fast the world was going to hell.

"Can we watch cartoons, please, please, please, please!!" billy begged, his eyes imploring her. They grew large and watery, very hard to resist.

"No Billy, for the last time, we're watching the news." She snapped, the large red vein in her forehead throbbing dramatically.

"Fine" sulked Billy, slumping back onto the couch. He may have acted put out but really he'd watch anything that was on. Mandy on the other hand had matured past "exploding pengiuns 8, this time it's personal!" Almost as soon as the TV had flickered to life, a breaking news story blared across the screen.

"This just in" said the annoyingly peppy news anchor woman. Her eyes were unfocused and gazed in opposite directions. Her vapid smile and died blond hair gave mansy the impression that she had slept her way to the top. "Two people have been found dead in the alley behind "Bob's Imported pawn shop. Apparently their blood was smeared in Egyptian hieroglyphics on the wall behind them. And their hearts are missing (she added as a side note squinting at the invisible teleprompter). Deep jagged holes in their chests suggest that they were ripped out by something. The police could not find the hearts anywhere around the premises."

Mandy leaned forward, intrigued. Or at the very least mildly interested. Her attention, however was redirected when she heard a coffee cup shatter behind her. She and Billy turned to see Grim standing in the doorway to the kichen, coffee seeping into the floor.

"damn dat boy! Why did he…"grim stopped realizing he was speaking aloud.

Mandy raised one eyebrow inquiringly. "Grim, is there something you need to tell us?" she asked forcefully.

Behind her, she could hear the women on the tv say "Next on the news, botox. Fashion must, or fashion fopax." F.Y.I, she was still smiling. And instantly billys attention snapped back to the blaring screen. He heard no more of what was said, too focused on the overly drugged news reporter infront of him.

"uh…" said grim at a loss for words. What was he supposed to say? Oh yah didn't I tell you? Irwin is alive and he's a Homicidal maniac, killing for pure pleasure. He left Endsville a while a go, but he's back now! Somehow he didn't think that would go overly well with her. "Just, a psycho I met a while back." he said rubbing his head. "He's just particularly vicious dat's all. Calls himself de bloody Pharaoh. And I didn't expect him to come ba…" he stopped realized his tongue had slipped again. He didn't want Mandy to know he kept a secret from her. He didn't even know why he had. Maybe it was to protect the Irwin that was, as apposed to the psycho killer he was today.

"Come back? What do you mean come ba…" her question was cut short by grims cell phone ringing. It hummed a slow funeral march ( I mean what else would the grim reaper have really?)

Grim picked it up appreciatively. A true, saved by the bell moment he chuckled to himself "Hello? Anoder death? Dat's da tird one Tanight sigh yes, I'm on de way." Grim begrudgingly hung up the phone, a disgusted sneer on his non exsistant lips. "Anoder one o his victims, I'm afraid. We'll talk later." He said as he ripped open a portal with his sithe. Relief flooded his bones, there was an off chance that she would be too tired to ask when he got home. Either that or she didn't remember. But as quickly as his hopes had come they were gone.

"You're taking us with you." Mandy said. The look in her eyes said she was not willing to compromise. She was interested on meeting this villan. There was something grim was hiding from her, some secret. Mandy hated secrets, the ones that weren't hers anyway.

"but, but….(she gave him one of her trademark glares.) urg, all right but be warned, he's insane beyond reason. And I'll be to busy to protect ya." Grim grumbled.

"Duley Noted" said mandy as she stepped through the portal. Dragging billy by the scruff of his shirt.

"This is it?" amndy asked aloud. She had dropped billy's shirt, causing him to fall flat on his back with an audible unf. As she surveyed the back alley way she saw nothing out of the ordinary. " I don't see anything, it must have been a false al…"

Her words trailed off as her eyes adjusted to the dark.. Only feet away, a woman's lifeless body crumpled to the ground slowly. A stream of blood came from her mouth only inches from her still open eyes. A cloaked figure bent over the dead woman's body, brining her still warm heart to his mouth. It bit deeply into the organ, making horrid gushing sounds as it chewed. When it was done, it proceeded to lick his fingers of any remaining traces of her blood. The figure turned toward them; (Billy's screams of horror had alerted it to their presence) his face was still hidden in the shadow of his cloak but it was now obvious that he was a he.

"Hello grim, I see you've brought friends." Came a deep voice from underneath it's sloping hood.

"Hello Pharaoh, so nice to see you. Three victims in one night? You must have been hungry. You remember Billy and Mandy" said grim, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He didn't even shudder at the sight, as he once would have. After years of seeing this, he could stomach anything. He gave a nod of his head in the directions of the bodies, and swept off to collect their forsaken souls.

The figure lifted his head slightly, just enough for them to see a bloody smile.

"It was a long journey, I was in New York you know. Forgot to pack a snack for the trip yoh! Ah Billy, Mandy so good to see you after all these years. Though I'm sure you've forgotten me." Said the man still smiling, although it had faded slightly after looking at Mandy. "The look on your faces tells me I'm right."

He moved slowly toward the two. They just stood still filled with horror, and awe (in Mandy's case) at this monster of a man.

"Billy, you look as stupid and short as ever. How long did it take you to forget me? A week, a day, an hour?" the figure sneered. He lifted billy's trembling chin, with a sword of blood and bone. "You look just like your father. Hmmm, I wonder how long your parents would cry for if I killed you. Could they honestly care for someone so stupid." He released Billy's chin and backed off. Billy collapsed to the ground in fear.

"tell me, did my parents cry at the funeral? Did they even come? Knowing them probably not. None of you really cared. But ah well, what does it all matter now" said The pharaoh his smile gone. Mandy stepped protectively in front of billy's quaking form. She did it more out of habit than anything, but even she didn't really want her best friend hurt. He was the only person who would put up with her for all this time and vise versa.

The figure's bloodied smile returned

"Ah Mandy, my dark angel, my black rose. You always pricked me with your thorns. How long did you torment my sole? I loved you deeply, and how did you repay me?" he asked gliding in close. She was too confused to move "Don't you remember? You tore my heart out, and ripped it in half, over and over and over. But not anymore, I have no heart left. I guess in that we are equal. Do you know you are even more lovely afraid then angry. Hard to believe but true." It may have seemed like flirting, but in fact he was taunting her. Daring her to remember who he was, and what she'd done to him.

He traced the line of her cheek with his claws. Still she did not move except to look at his dark hand. She was too startled by his up-frontness, by his cruelty that rivaled her own. And grim was to busy gathering soles to care. He dug in his nails and drew blood. She winced

" I wonder, does your blood run cold like the snake you are? Lets find out shall we?" he asked cruelly.

He leaned forward and licked the swelling blood from her cheek. This got a reaction. She moved to hit him in full furry, but he was far faster and grabbed her hand. She did her best to pull away, but he held fast.

"Feisty as ever I see" he laughed insanely "Just so you know, your blood is warm and sweet like honey" he taunted her.

"Who the hell do you are? No one touches Mandy!" she shouted pulling her hand away.

Pharaoh stepped backward. "You still don't know? Oh Mandy, you wound me so. Maybe this will remind you" he replied with a rueful smirk. Although he had obviously been joking, there was something cold behind his voice. It almost sounded, hurt?

Before she new what was happening he leaned in, kissed her solidly on the lips, pulled away and shouted " I'm your cuddle muffin Yo!" he then laughed deeply and darkly.

"IRWIN!!" Mandy shouted in disbelief. Confusion and horror rising in her throat how could this awesome figure of power and evil be that nerd? "you'r dead, I saw you die."

"oh so now you remember me?" he said coldly peeling back his hood to reveal a handsome, and malevolent face " and Irwin did die Mandy, along with all the love and compassion he had. They've replaced by more fun things, like hatred and insanity. did you honestly think I would kill myself for you?" he laughed, "please don't flatter yourself. I just couldn't stand to see your pathetic little faces any longer." With that he turned around and began to walk away.

"Irwin!! Don't go!!" shouted Billy. It was the first time he had spoken and it caught Irwin off guard. After realizing his friend was alive Billy had snapped back to his senses and was now weeping as pitifully as he done all those many years ago. The Pharaoh's hesitation allowed billy to rush forward tripping over his own gangly legs. Although he had fallen he clung desperately to his old friend's cloak tail.

The Pharaoh's nose wrinkled up in disgust. He kicked Billy away. "Keep your dog ona leash Mandy" he sneered

Suddenly from behind a dumpster jumped a man. He pointed a gun straight at Pharaohs head. Obviously he had been waiting for a chance to strike, and this seemed as good as any. It would have worked too, had Irwin been anyone else.

"This is for my wife you sick bastard" the man shouted, but before he could draw breath again Pharaoh's sword was sticking out his back. The man slumped forward and fell lifless to the ground, as the sword with his heart still on it was pulled out.

Pharaoh removed the heart and flung it at Mandy's face. "A heart for the heartless" he exclaimed, and disappeared in a portal of his own blood.

**Icky heart in face moment, but I just had to do it. I wanted to see mandy get hit the face with a heart. Lol, she deserves it as much as I love her evilness. And I know Irwins line was really lame, but he always and always will be. I know I'm disturbed, what's your point? You may have noticed some changes, this is because I'm editing so it won't suck. R&R please!!**


	4. Let's make a bet

**Chapter 4: let's make a bet**

**Hey everyone! Sorry I took so long to upload this chappie, but I have three fan fics that I'm working on, and it's the second to last week of school so there is some major pressure. Anyway sticking to my interview thing, I am going to do an interview with one of the characters to introduce the chapter.**

**The one person audience gets up and cheers, looks around and sits down**

**L: everyone meet…THE GRIM REEPER!!!!**

**G: nice ta meet my fans…soon to be clients.**

**Bluemoon4Sphinx hides behind chair…again**

**L: yah, that's uh….nice. so um, got anything planned for the near future. Other then killing people I mean.**

**G: well I do have a lovely lady of my own. I was hopen ta mabey start a family wit her.**

**L: spits up pop all over grim reaper what the hell!!! You have a girlfriend! LOL**

**G: glares I have the power ta kill you ya know!**

**L: uh, I mean, so who's the lucky lady?**

**G: Eris. We put aside our differences in favor of our love of chaos.**

**L: that's uh…cool. Sorry to tell you this but you, Eris, billy, and various other characters will only be side notes. The main story will be about Mandy and Irwin. But their will be some parts with you and Eris together.**

**G: gee, tanks for dat. I feel really appreciated now.**

**L: hey I gave you an interview didn't I? for I final question I'd like to ask, what do you think of the plot so far.**

**G: well I like da parts where people other den me get hurt.laura nods, and laughs I tink ya got an interesting story going here girl. And very unsuspected ending if I do say so myself! The wedding will be interesting.**

**L: hey, don't give anything away. And yes folks there will be a wedding, but I'm not saying who's. their could possibly even be two! But enough of this for now, on with the show!!! Er…story… or whatever!**

**Disclaimer: I own I giant plastic penguin, various cd's and comic books, and a bunch of useless crap. But other then that I own nothing! Especially not The grim adv.!**

Grim looked up and saw yet another heartless body on the ground

"uggg" he shouted in dismay "when will me job done!!? Thanks a lot Irwin" realizing what he had said, he turned slowly toward Mandy. His fear turned to confusion when he saw Mandy glaring into the distance. Her cheek was bleeding, and she couldn't seem to speak. Billy was on himself the ground slowly rocking back and fourth. His nose was running, and tears streamed down his face.

Mandy's eyes turned coldly to grim "you knew he was alive, you knew what he'd become. And you kept it from us" she said angrily. "you lied to me grim. You told me he was dead."

" yes I lied." Sighed grim " but Irwin wanted it dat way. And I wanted you to remember Irwin as he was, not as some physco maniac"

"You lied grim. You'll be a century older before you repay that debt." She said glaring him down. She stopped and thought for a moment " where did he get those powers?"

Grim shrugged " I tink it was his mother." He said moving towards his next client "when I'm done here I'll take you home."

Mandy nodded, and bent to get billy off the ground.

The next day both Billy and Mandy couldn't speak, they couldn't eat, and billy couldn't sleep through class. Mandy just stared blankly at her paper.

Mindy leaned over with a sneer. "What's the matter ugly? Looked in mirror?" she asked mockingly. When Mandy she refused to respond she continued. "too horrified to speak?" still Mandy did not respond, Mindy shouted "Stop ignoring me"

Mandy turned startled. "Did you say something airhead?" she asked unfeelingly

"grrr" screamed Mindy as she ripped at her hair. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" she shouted angrily

Mandy looked at her, and whispered coldly "Irwin…Is alive" slowly she turned back to toward the teacher.

Mindy, for the first time in a long time, couldn't speak. all she could do was stare blankly off into space.

Mandy couldn't think clearly. Every five seconds Irwin's image popped into her head. She stood up slowly from her pink and black covered bed. Mandy grabbed her jacket, and headed for the door.

"I'm going for a walk" she said to no one in particular.

As she paced the streets, the cold wind whipped her face.

"why can't I get him out of my head? He was just a stupid little kid, who made bad choices. I didn't care then, why should I now?" she wondered aloud.

Just then she heard multiple shots, like something from a machine gun, coming from the alley next to her. She turned. To her surprise, Hostellgato was fighting Irwin. If this wasn't a coincidence, what was? She had been right, it was a machine gun, and it was attached to hos's hand. Shots flew in every direction, as Irwin dodged left and right. His bone blades were drawn, they snaked out of his arms sinisterly, and he was laughing as he jumped and twirled like a monkey.

"getting closer" he laughed aloud. He was having great fun. More fun then he had had in a long time.

"die filth" shouted Hos, has his arm morfed into a sword and swung at Irwin's chest. He mannadaged to back Irwin into a wall.

Irwin began to melt into a red liquid-like state, until he had transformed into pure blood. The puddle of Irwin slipped between haus's feet, then reformed right behind him.

"peekaboo, yo" he mauked pretentiously. This was coming to an end, and they both new it.

With lightning speed, haus turned round and sliced Irwin's right arm right off. Dispite herself, Mandy gasped slightly. What was wrong with her? Haus smilled triumphantly, but strangely enough so did Irwin. His arm flew up in the air and reattached itself. Within seconds there wasn't even a scar

"nice one, yo. But I think you ment ta do this" chuckled Irwin as he ran his blade through haus's heart. Slowly he puled the blade out, and let haus fall dead to the ground.

"nice seeing you again. Sorry our visit was so short" laughed Irwin cruely. He bit the heart off of his bones, like a possum on a stick. "yum, rabies" he joked. (see fairly odd parents.) "you can come out from the shadows now mandy." He said calmly.

"how long did you know I was there?" asked mandy coldly as she stepped over haus's fallen corpse. She looked down at the shocked expression on the body's face. "he was always really annoying." She mumbled quietly to herself.

"the moment you left your house." He said smilling at her cockily. He whipped the blood off his face, and tossed the remains of the heart onto the ground.

"how did you know that?" asked mandy confusedly

"I could smell your blood. It smells nice, like sweet candy" he laughed evily. How he did love to torment her. "Now what brings you to this neck of the woods, my darling."

She stopped. Why had she come, why couldn't she get him out of her head. She decided it was his raw power, and skill. She looked up into his cold, unfeeling eyes. Could there be something else? No, she shook the thought out of her head.

"I want you to tech me to fight" she said seriously. "your skill is impressive, and I don't give out complements easily."

He laughed "you can't be serious. Why the hell should I help you? After everything you've done to me, why should I even care about you?"

She had thought he would do it for her sake. Because he was so obsessed with her. She was wrong. He, like her, no longer cared for anyone but himself. Suddenly she thought back to her deal with the grim reaper.

"let's make a bet" she said coolly " If I win you teach me to fight."

"and if I win?" Irwin asked maukingly

"well, what do you want?" asked mandy she wasn't sure what his answer would be. Perhaps all the prey he could eat?

"there is only one thing I have wanted for a very long time, yo." He said his smile faiding

Mandy gritted her teeth expecting the worst. What she heard was very different.

"death" as he said this mandy looked into his solom, serious face. "Grim will remove every grain of sand I have left in my hour glass. That is what I want. I don't care if I go to hell, I just want out."

"agreed" said mandy with a small grimace.

"now what sort of contest do you have in mind?" he asked smilling. "limbo?"

"I was thinking something more along the lines of chess" Mandy replied. She wasn't about to challenge him to anything Physical.

**This wasn't all that action packed. I never really liked hoss, he annoyed me! So I'm glad he's dead. Eris doesn't care because she had grim. But what about Kevin, what will happen to him!? Oh who cares he's just an orange traffic cone in hoss's basement!? Well that's it for me today. R&R ****please!!!!!!**


	5. Let the games begin

Hello hello hello

**Hello hello hello!! Did you miss me? I missed you all!! I know it's been a long time but I'm back in action and it feels so right!! Wooot. Up till now the writing has been pretty sucky but I hope to fix that. Bare with me as I try to revive this story I'd long forgotten.**

**Chapter 5:Let the games begin.**

**Penguin: "And their off!! So, for this chapter I'd thought we'd go with a differen't sort of character. Perhaps….Kevin!!"**

**Kevin:…**

**Penguin: "yah sorry about that comment about you not mattering last chapter!! Eh he…"**

**Kevin:….**

**Penguin " oh come on don't give me the cold shoulder! I was only joking!"**

**Kevin:…**

**Pengiun:….**

**Kevin: …**

**Penguin: …ookay…**

**Blue moon shpynx "light him on fire and see what happens!!"**

**Penguin: "sure why not" take out matches and fidels around for a moment. After nothing happens, grabs blow torch from under seat.**

**Kevin: ….**

**Pengiun "woo exciting, he's on fire and still refusing to talk, or scream, or anything of the sort. Wait…wait… now he's fallen over, and is n fire, and is still refusing to talk. I'm gonna cut this short before the fire department comes…again."**

**Disclaimer: insert lame joke about how stupid it is that I have to have this and I don't own the grim adv. Also I'd like to say that blue moon sphinx would cower behind a chair. I am sorry I said so…and yah. **

"you cheated!! You BITCH!!" shouted the Irwin Enraged. "Theres no way you could have beaten me otherwise!! I'm all powerfull yo!! I'll find out how you did it and I'll kill you" this wasn't happening. His one chance to die until a very long time in the future, was gone. How had she done it? How could she have beaten him like this.

"I won. Face it geek wad, you lost." she said triumphantly, in her signature monotone. She took a file out of her pocket, and casually began to work at her nails. That was that as far as she was concerned. "a deal is a deal."

He reached out his long blood specked fingers to grasp the neck he so wanted to snap. It was with a great force of will that he restrained himself from breaking the deal he had just made. He gritted his teeth and pulled back his arms reluctantly. "fuh…fine, I'll teach you man…man…mandy." He spat out the last words as if they were some foul disease, that he had inadvertently caught while touching her cheek. There was more than rage at loss in his cold angry eyes. There was loathing like nothing else in the world. hatered that rooted deep down, that made his stomach churn and threaten to return it's contents to the surface. He could not bring himself to look at her horridly beautifull face, instead he turned and spat at her feat. "a deal is a deal. When would madam like her first lesson?"

"Oh, don't worry about that. We'll be in touch. And Irwin, don't call me, I'll call you" she said with a hotty and vain tone, as she flicked her golden tresses behind her ear. She got to her feet and strode gracefully as one could in spiked boots, out of the ally way.

"MY name is the bloody pharaoh!!" he snapped after her, clenching his fists so tightly they drew blood.

"if you insist. But if you are going to call yourself something so stupid then give me a new name to. Call me misstris from now on and I'll call you paraoh." Her voice echoed from around the corner.

"as you wish, _mistress." _He spat, his face contorting hideously. "you may have won the bet, but you haven't won the war!!" he gave a derainged high laugh that echoed around the empty alley.

From a block away came the cry " I heard that you pathetic moron!!"

"damn," he whispered "that was a really lame line yoh!" he sighed, this was going to be hell. And he new a little something about hell.

That night when mandy returned home she found an unwelcome visitor on her couch.

"Grim, what are you doing here bone head? Aren't you supposed to be at Billy's?" she asked in her usually uncaring tone.

"da boy wet his bed again, an den his mom and dad got inta one o der fights about "he shouldn't be wetting the bed at his age!!". So here I am." Muttered grim annoyedly. He sighed as his channel surfing once again came up with no good results. "so where were ya missy? Out on a date?" a large potted firn came crashing into the side of his head.

"if we're playing twenty questions, it's my turn. What happened to Irwin after he "died"?" she snapped, thoroughly put out that someone had been keeping secrets from her. And also that grim would insinuate that she would lower herself to _Date_ anyone.

"jeese girl, I was only kidn'n. and I don't tink it's any o you're business what happened." Grumbled grim as he detached himself from the plant. This was working out better than expected , he could hold something over mandy's smarmy little head. However his dream was short lived, as mandy lifted another fern his resolve snapped. "okay okay, settle down I'll tell ya."

Mandy plopped down in the seat beside grim's with a piercing glare witch he returned. "I don't know mutch. At da boy's request I dropped him off in a deserted alley way and den left him to his fate. Few hours later I get a call about some massacre on da same street where I had left him. I get dere and low and behold da boy is covered in blood, bodies are linen da streets around him, and he's eaten some juys heart. He tells me to call him bloody pharaoh and sweeps off dramatically." He turned his boney head toward her and gave a slight nod signaling the end of his tale.

For a moment she just sat and blinked bemusedly. "that's it, that's all you know? Thanks for nothing bone head!" her skirt ruffled as she sat bolt up right in frustration. This was getting her no where. As she stormed down the hallway to her room she heard grims voice call to her.

"my turn, why do ya want ta know?" he shouted.

"none of you're business!' she retorted slamming the door on his disgruntled swears.

As she flopped down onto her bed she felt something wet and warm on her cheek. Too her horror she discovered it was a heart. A real human heart, and from the look of it fresh too. Her face wrinkled in disgust as she read the tag attached to it. It was written in blood, most likely from the heart's previous owner.

It was a message from Irwin, it read "a heart for the heartless mistress. It's fresh, maybe you could use it? Anyway instructions of where to meet are inside this lovely morsel. I've decided if we do this it's on my terms. Have fun, and bring it back when you're done. It may be to cold to eat, but it seems a shame to waste….Pharaoh.

"how did he get this in here?' she wondered aloud, turning her head to the broken pane of glass that had once been her window. "damn, I'll get grim to fix it later."

_Should I have grim fetch the note from inside the heart? No he'll get too suspicious. I'll have to do it myself._ As she thought this she crossed the room to her desk and got out a pair of sanitary gloves, and a knife. ( why she has this stuff in her room…god I really don't want to know.) as she pride the heart open and searched around for the note she couldn't help but let her mind wander. What was his obsession with hearts? Why had he gone crazy? Where had he been all these years? And why couldn't she find any sign of the directions? she moved back to her blood stained pillow at picked up the note again she felt writing on the other side. Carefully she flipped it over and swore at what she saw.

Although the blood was smudged she could still make out clearly "oops, did I lie? Sorry mistress I couldn't help myself. Here are the real directions(they led to a whaerhouse she'd never heard of) meet me after school tomorrow. Bring me some reading material, I do so long for a good book. Perhaps horror? See you soon… you're servant."

She strode determinedly across the room and hurled the heart out the window. It hit the ground with a sickening "splat!". "grim," she shouted still furious, "grim come fix my window!! Now dammit!!"

She heard the squeak of springs as grim started to shuffle toward her door. Hurriedly she stowed the message in her bedside drawer. There was no chance of grim finding it by accident now. She turned and stared out through the broken glass. "Irwin, you are messing with the wrong girl dammit. We'll if you wanna play games, let's just see how good you are!" a cold fury was rising inside of her. Thunder crashed dramatically in the back ground, and the lightning the illuminated her room caused her eyes to momentarily seem aflame. "I never loose a game."

_I wonder if she's found it yet?_ Thought Irwin as he lay back upon the small bed he had fashioned for himself. The mattress was made out of various scraps of clothing he had stolen from his victims. A blanket and pillow he had "borrowed" from a homeless man.

He was currently residing in an abandoned warehouse. As an attempt at decoration he had nailed some hearts and entrails to the wall, along with a poster of a kitten that read "hang in there!". A dusty moth eaten chair lay up against a wall, it's red fabric faded to grey. The only other furnishing in this other wise empty space was a chest of droors. Within it lay a few changes of clothing (even he couldn't wear that costume 24/7). For instance at the moment he only wore a pair of grey sweat pants. These he had also stolen.

He was restless, just as she had been. Sleep did not welcome him, no matter how hard he tried to embrace it. It danced just out of sight, taunting him with it's invisible closeness. Finally giving an aggravated yell he lept to his feet and strode across the room to his door. He gave a longing look to his illfitted bed and swept out into the night. Where he was going he didn't know. Thoughts raced around his head so fast he could even begin to comprehend them. It was a while before he realized where he was, directly outside of mandy's house.

Quietly he cursed his troubled mind for leading him here. He attempted to leave but something held him back. He couldn't say what but something was telling him to stay. It was the same voice that had kept him from sleep. "perhaps if I do as it says, I cant get some sleep yo?" he wondered aloud.

So for a while, how long he never knew, he stood there staring up at the window he had shattered only hours before. An odd sensation krept up his throat, it was something he hadn't experienced in along time. He couldn't place it exactly but if he had to guess he'd say, "Longing"

At last his eyes began to droop and the voice told him it was time for bead. And he swept of into the fading darkness. But as he left he could have sworn he saw a face looking down at him. He did a quick double take but when he looked back there was nothing there.

"what was he doing here of all places?" wondered grim too himself as he watched Irwin glide away. "man, dat boys gonna cause trouble for me I jus know it."

**I know this was short but hey I just started this up again so forgive me!! R&R please!!**


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